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Bears Off The Rails

Bears: Bidding Farewell to Former Bears Quarterback, Mike Glennon

After one of the most exciting days in Bears offseason history, we bid farewell to Mike Glennon, hopefully the final failed attempt at solving the quarterback problem in Chicago.

Dear Mike Glennon, Thank you. 

Thank you for coming to embody everything Bears fans have come to love about the organization from top to bottom. Your stay in Chicago was brief and under appreciated, but I appreciated it. You have moved on to the sunny dessert of Arizona, and Cardinals fans won’t appreciate just what they’re getting. They are getting a quarterback that was everything the Bears have been since they went to the Super Bowl in 2006, from top to bottom. 

Let’s start at the top. Thank you for being the cherry on top of a decade of bad free agent signings. When free agency opened last year, you were our number one target. How could you not be? You hadn’t started a game since 2014, you had a record of 5-13 in games you did start. You were as Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin put it “statuesque” in the pocket, you couldn’t scramble to save your life. Ryan Pace said you had the kind of arm talent the organization coveted.

With your slow release, and goofy, lanky pocket presence you were the summation of Bears quarterbacks past. The athleticism of Rex Grossman, the decision making of Jay Cutler, the arm strength of Todd Collins, and the kind of face that reminds one of Kyle Orton‘s neck beard. You were perfect. All of these traits led Ryan Pace to feverishly bid against himself at the beginning of free agency, and you ended up scoring yourself a shiny new contract. $18.5 million dollars for one year, “your year” as you told the media every time they asked about the looming threat of Mitch Trubisky. It was your. year. It was a perfect summary of how the Bears got themselves into a situation where they needed you in the first place. 

The front office isn’t the only place where your brief stay was a perfect summary of Bears teams past. The coaching staff’s handling of you was reminiscent of Trestman. After all, it was your year. Mitch Trubisky wasn’t ready. You were the starter. You even played like it in the first game of the year. In Soldier Field, Week 1, you nearly led a come from behind game-winning drive against the defending NFC champions. Jordan Howard dropped a touchdown that would have won the game! You were living the dream!

Alas, the good feelings did not last. Week 2 was your Tampa homecoming. This was where you were going to prove Tampa messed up by letting you go, Dowell and John were going to open up the playbook and you were going to look the part of franchise quarterback. Four turnovers, and a 29-7 loss later, people were calling for your head. You stood tall, and with the coaching staffs unwavering support you continued to go out and play your game. Despite fans calling for your head, John Fox repeatedly told the media he wasn’t going to make a change. Bears fans continued to rip their hair out. Were you worried about being benched? Of course not! It was your year!

Well, two weeks later “your year” ended. An embarrassing 35-14 loss to the Packers sealed your fate. Which isn’t really fair, Jay could never win Green Bay either, and he got to start for eight years. I digress. You handled your blindsided demotion with class. You even allowed your third string backup Mark Sanchez to mentor Trubisky while you collected checks. All in all, the Bears paid you just under $5 million dollars a touchdown for four touchdowns, and  $3.7 million dollars per interception for your five interceptions. All well earned Mike. A true Bears quarterback.

Just because your time was short, and you were never given a fair chance. Don’t be sad Mike. Every time the camera cut to you on the sideline, it was a stark reminder of just how the Bears came to be the franchise they are now. In a perpetual state of rebuild since 2010.

More importantly, you were a reminder of what the Bears are leaving behind. An era of cheap, stopgap players coming in and playing poorly. Hopefully, you will be the Bears last failed attempt at finding a quarterback. Arizona is a perfect fit for you Mike. You can go collect more checks, enjoy the Arizona sun, and most important you probably won’t have to play much football because the Cardinals just signed Sam Bradford and are reportedly interested in Josh Allen. I hear Arizona is the number one choice of many retirees everywhere, Mike. 

So one last time, thank you Mike Glennon. Thank you for being a perfect symbol of Bears failures past, and thank you for leaving, and hopefully taking the better part of a decades worth of incompetence with you. We will never forget you. 

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